12 R&B Songs that Prove Men Don’t Have to Slut-Shame or Disrespect After They Get Played or Curved

I was lurking on a friend’s Twitter the other day and noticed that she retweeted this girl who tweeted the reactions of men and women when they get curved.

If you’re assuming that the man’s reaction was unnecessary and disrespectful, you’re absolutely right. Women can go from being “so beautiful” to “ugly chicken head” in the matter of a second. I don’t get it.

Women get curved all the time, but the rate at which men decide to disrespect women when it happens to them is monumental. What’s even more unreal is the level of slut-shaming that happens to women as opposed to when men are the ones doing the playing.

Remember when men used to be brokenhearted but civil? Or when they would take their rejection and move on to the next without quarrel? Can we go back to those days or is that asking for too much in this misogynistic society?

Women should not be victimized for freely expressing their sexuality or refusing to give out their number, and 12 R&B songs prove it.

“CAN’T STAY” | DAVE HOLLISTER

Dave recognizes that feelings can change, even though he was hopeful, at one point, that they wouldn’t. He soulfully just says “Girl I can’t stay… I’d rather be on my on.” This man even has a whole son with this woman but is still able to cordially let it go after she decides to “pass time with the guy next door.” Be more like Dave and “bounce like a basketball” instead of being disrespectful.

“I DON’T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN” | UNCLE SAM

Try to imagine what it’s like getting a letter from your best friend saying they’re in love with the love of your life. That’s some BS! Straight up! But, Uncle Sam knew he “had to get over it.” He keeps it simple and says he doesn’t ever want to see his girl again. If he can do that then surly men today can stop with the savagery.

“DOIN’ JUST FINE” | BOYS II MEN

Boys II Men took their “L” and turned it into a “W” in this song — don’t debate me. They admit that they are butt hurt, and then stress (in the most melodic voices ever) that they don’t need these women in their lives. Time heals all, so don’t be salty. Get on with life, be like Boys II Men and tell them “you know longer have my heart.”

“IN MY BED” | DRU HILL

We know when your friends tell you things, especially that you already assume, you feel like a fool. But take notes from Dru Hill, these guys don’t bash the women, instead, lead singer Sisqo says “I ain’t coming back no more.” And that’s actually the mature thing to do when someone is “sleeping in your bed and messing with your head.”

“I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU” | NEW EDITION

This one is kind of different. I added it because I know some guys are quick to disrespect a woman’s friends if he feels they affect the way his woman feels about him. Just have a real conversation with your girl and let her know “it don’t matter what your friends say, they’re just jealous of me and you.” Simple.

“FISTFUL OF TEARS” | MAXWELL

I mean, Maxwell sounds like he is distraught in this song but to be honest, I think he is fine. He tells the girl to “open your eyes and see what you’re losing.” I think he knows he is a catch and that’s something that all men need to think about it. Why get all offensive and throw insults when you got the juice. Unless you don’t 🙄🤷🏽‍♀️💁🏽.

“SO SICK” | NE-YO

It’s no secret that Ne-Yo is love sick in this ballad that we love so much. Still, he says he is sick of love songs instead of the woman who broke his heart. He is “fed up of thoughts” of ole girl but he still doesn’t call her out her name. Learn to vent another way instead of going crazy on a girl that does you wrong.

“IT’S OVER NOW” | 112

If you want to call a girl anything, call her shady, like 112. That’s fair. No need to call her every name in the book just because you never thought you would be breaking up the way you did. Just tell her “it’s over now,” or work it out if you’re that pressed.

“CRY ME A RIVER” | JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

It’s crazy any time you have to find out from the “other” person, but JT keeps his cool. Even though he knows he didn’t deserve to get played, he doesn’t act disrespectfully. He straight up says “cry me a river.” Like, if being “petty” was a thing then like it is now, that’s what we would have called Justin. He is not here for the apology or feelings of regret. Of course he is mad, but he lets it go like a burned bridge and men today should too.

“NOBODY KNOWS” | THE TONY RICH PROJECT

I feel like a lot of the time guys only want to slut-shame or be disrespectful because they don’t want to show that they’re hurt. Well, why can’t they just be sad without telling anyone? This song is the perfect example of a man being all in his feelings but choosing to deal with it in private.

“I DON’T WANNA KNOW” | MARIO WINANS

Mario is a little too passive, but hey, at least he isn’t disrespecting women. Even Diddy (or whatever he is called these days) doesn’t resort to disrespecting women in his attempt to spit bars on this song. Clearly there is a way to approach rejection and being played that doesn’t have to involve the level of disrespect that has become too common these days.

Almost made the cut . . .

“STUTTER” | JOE FEAT. MYSTIKAL

Joe isn’t disrespectful in this song, but his boy Mystikal is out of control. Period.

*Song titles are links to the songs on iTunes.