The other day, I ate 2 double cheeseburgers and 2 medium fries. That was just one day. I had a total of 5 double cheeseburgers and 5 medium fries last week, and somehow lived to tell the story.
Now, I know that this is extremely unhealthy, but when you’ve been skinny all of your life and have the ability to devour that much food without fear of even gaining a pound (THE GIFT), it’s hard to think about the fact that you’re clogging your arteries and putting yourself at risk of heart disease and who knows what else (THE CURSE).
When I was growing up, I was self-conscious about being skinny. This is probably because there were old women at the church house who would say things like, “Bless your lil heart baby. You need to get some meat on them bones.” Or maybe because insensitive people would ask things like, “Do you have an eating disorder?”
You see, what most people don’t know — or what they don’t care to think about — is that feeling self-conscious about weight is not only a struggle for bigger women. Women of all sizes can feel self-conscious about their weight. #Facts
I’m only bringing this up after noticing all of the comments about Usher’s accuser, a big woman. Admittedly, my initial reaction was not the most positive. I shard a couple of memes and laughed at even more. But, to be honest, I know better, and I should do better. No woman should feel as though she’s unworthy of love, sex or whatever it is she wants simply because her body doesn’t look like what society has deemed beautiful.
Women have enough on their plates, you know, like getting paid much less than their male counterparts to do the same jobs, but I digress. Women shouldn’t have to stress about their physical appearance because one man — or anyone — finds it unattractive.
Women, especially, should stop body shaming women. We know how it feels to be unhappy with a physical feature, and that alone should make us want to make nicer comments (or not say anything at all).
To be clear, I’m not condoning unhealthy lifestyles. What I am doing is promoting self-love and respect for everyone’s differences. Not everyone is going to wake up and have a banging body like Beyonce or Gabrielle Union. Not everyone can afford “the perfect” body like Kendall Jenner. Sigh. I lost a bit of my soul for typing that — I am no fan of the Kardashian-Jenner squad — but I’m also not a hater! Anyway, not everyone can eat 5 double cheeseburgers and still wear a size zero. The fact of the matter is that it doesn’t matter. You should love your body because it’s yours.
It’s okay to have body goals. I have them too. What’s not okay is expecting everyone else to have your same body goals. We do not get to dictate the standard for beauty. Making light of someone’s physical appearance is insensitive, childish, and could cause the breaking point for someone struggling with weight issues — big or small.
I know it’s cliche, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So stop body shaming women, and, if you are a woman who wants some beauty inspiration, here are a few beauty and fashion bloggers that I discovered who can give you tips and help you flaunt what you got, because if you don’t love you, who will?
AFROBELLA | Patrice Grell Yursik
HIPLOOT | Andie Allen
MISS WHOEVER YOU ARE | Eileen
HEY FRAN HEY | Francheska Medina